Sunday, January 24, 2021

INCOMPLETE STEPS

I would love to have my life totally organized. I have a whole shelf of books on how to organize everything, from my house to my projects to my garden to my correspondence, and on and on. At times I fantasize about dedicating a different day each week to a different aspect of my life.  Monday was always my poetry day, and in pre-pandemic days it was also the evening for choir practice.  I'd like to have a day for working on my book and it is often Thursday because my business partner is helping me get it into the format for submission. She used to run a publishing company in Austria and she knows better than I how to get it in shape. Friday is the day I have my horn lesson, and I also have my journaling program in the morning.  

However, other things pop out at me when I'm least expecting it. For example, this morning when I was journaling, I noticed that sunlight was bouncing off the telephone wires in a particular way, and wondered if that could be the jumping-off point for a poem. Shortly afterwards, one of our hummingbirds spent a great deal of time sipping breakfast from my scented camellias, and I thought of a poetry departure there, and then I wondered if I could put the two together, since the sounds that hummingbirds made often sound like an electrical humming, and in fact I wrote a poem based on this observation called "Electrical Engineer." Now I can't remember what the focus was and I realize I need to have a notebook nearby to start poems so I don't have to get up and find something to write on--I could write in my journal and I have in the past, but at times I'm afraid I'll lose my musings in the recording of my daily events.  

Saturday is the day I water my orchids--each pot has to be sunk up to the rim in water with fertilizer for an hour, and watering them all can easily take most of the day. I started with one orchid that I bought in Laguna Beach on the first trip my husband and I took there for our anniversary.  That orchid did so well in my north kitchen window, that friends started buying me orchids, or giving me the ones they had that never bloomed, and now the whole garden window is full of them.  They are just starting to push out their flower spikes over the last couple of weeks, but by February or March, the whole window will be a riot of blooms.

On Sundays, I have two or three Zoom calls--Weight Watchers, our family Zoom, and twice-monthly a Beginning Experience call.  By the end of the afternoon on the days when I have three, I usually feel Zoomed out.  I used to have to get up at 5 so I could practice before playing horn at the 9:00 Mass at my parish, but there is no choir now so I usually go to the 5:30 Mass on Saturday evening, since it's often warmer then, and they have heaters on the patio where we have Mass.

My word for this year is "Create," and so far I've written two new poems and revised another. I'd also like to organize the drawer that holds all the poems I've submitted in the last few months and be able to submit more, as well as finally finish my poetry chapbook.  Again, it's an incomplete project, waiting on some more comments from my daughter.

I suppose all of life is like that, especially with the pandemic putting so many things on hold. I have a big pot of soup on the stove that I need to put in the refrigerator so I have some healthy things to eat when I don't feel like cooking.  But I never quite seem to finish any of my big projects--and I suppose that life is always an ongoing project. It would be boring if everything was suddenly finished!

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