Monday, February 24, 2014


I do believe, help my unbelief!
                                  ---Mark 9:24

This morning I was listening to the check in and meditation session that is part of Jennifer Louden's Life Navigation Course that I have been taking now for five weeks.  I signed up for it at the very last minute, assuming that it was like the Great Works MBA I had taken earlier, where you could listen to it at any time within 24 hours of the actual talk.  Then I discovered that it was live, and scheduled at the same time as my French horn lesson, so I had to scramble to get my horn lesson rescheduled, and it makes for a very busy Wednesday:  two hours of French horn, followed by an hour of the Life Navigation course, a quick dinner, and then my Holy Hour.  Later I learned that the talks are recorded so I can listen to them at a different time, but I like being able to ask questions or make comments, so I continue to listen to them live.

The meditation this morning introduced the idea of feeling beloved on this earth.  As I was listening, I began to realize that I have not really felt beloved since my dear husband died. I know my children love me and they show me that in many ways, and many dear friends also love me, but I have not felt beloved as I did when we were married and I knew I was his one and only.  This left me feeling somewhat bereft, but as she continued the meditation, she asked us to find something that helps us to feel beloved on this earth, and my eyes immediately went to the small stained glass that my beloved gave me years ago. It is a picture of a king or prince kissing his wife, who is seated at what looks like a small organ.  Her hands are on the keys, her furry robes have fallen back on the organ bench, and she is returning the kiss with delight.  The early morning sun is still lighting up the glass giving it a brilliance I have never seen before, and I know when I look at it now, I will feel myself beloved on this earth.

Even the phrase "on this earth" makes me smile as I think of one of my granddaughters, who started kindergarden this year.  She drew a picture of my husband at the top, and labeled it, "Papa, in heaven."  At the bottom, she drew a picture of herself, and wrote, "Hyun-Joo, on earth."  Her simple faith strengthens my belief:  I am beloved on this earth.
And in a lovely follow up to yesterday, as I was finishing the morning meditation, the air outside was suddenly filled with birds singing in spring!

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